One year ago today I was 31 weeks pregnant. My aunt Christine came with me to a regular ultrasound so we could check up on Gabriella. The ultrasound was fun as usual and we got cute pictures of my punkins face, after the tech finished with the ultrasound she told me I had to go sit in the lobby so she could talk to the doctor.. I did not have an appt with the doctor that day so I looked at my aunt and said something's not right. She also felt something may not be right but tried to assure me all was fine. Finally we got called into a room where the doctor would see me, I knew something was wrong!! I just knew it!
The doctor came in and basically kept beating around the bush as though she was afraid to deliver the bad news. She told me my daughter had extra fluid on her brain and I needed to be sent to Uconn medical for further more advanced ultrasounds of Gabby's brain. The doctor gave me little information on this 'fluid on the brain'. the only thing I cared about due to her lack of information was "Is she going to survive" and the doctor stated "I cannot tell you that".
I was absolutely CRUSHED! My normal pregnancy, except for the diabetes and ciatica, in one visit felt like I died. In the days to follow I had no idea I would be told my daughter would be severely mentally handicapped if she even survived at all!! I was told there was so much fluid on her brain they couldn't tell me if there was even any brain tissue! They apologized over and over because I was 'past the point of abortion' which would not have been a choice for me anyways. There was ZERO hope for my daughter.
On this one year anniversary of such awful news I look at my INCREDIBLE Gabriella who is #1 not severely mentally handicapped and #2 is clearly living and doing well!! So here is to happy 1 year to doubtful doctors, pessimistic nurses, the people who looked at me with watery eyes because my daughter would be 'nothing', the confused family who also like myself did not understand the bad news. So on this day to those doctors who apologized for me being unable to abort excuse my language but YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT! :) I THANK God everyday for my miracle baby and today is an extreme day of overwhelming prayer! Thank you God! Thank you God! Thank you God!
